OLBY'S NEW INTERN

ASPIRING BROADCASTER TO JOIN THE NETWORK THAT HAS OPENED ITS LEGS TO CHANGE?

ROGER CLARK AS JAMES EARL JONES IN COMING TO AMERICA

WATCH THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

KOO KOO FOR COCO BLUFFS

KIRSTEN POWERS TELLS GLEN BECK THAT HE IS "KOO KOO FOR COCO PUFFS."

WHY IS FOX TRACKING ME?

LET ME EXPLAIN. LIVING IN LOS ANGELES, REDEYE USUALLY COMES ON AT MIDNIGHT DURING THE WEEK. BUT WHEN I WENT HOME TO DALLAS, IT SWITCHED TO A 2AM TIMESLOT. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE, BUT WHEN I CAME BACK TO CA, IT WAS IMMEDIATELY MOVED BACK TO 12AM. EXACTLY WHY FOX IS TRACKING MY LOCATION IS STILL UNKNOWN, BUT AT LEAST I NOW KNOW THEIR TACTICS.

NONBELIEVERS PATRONIZE CHOSEN ONE

IF YOU HAD A PICTURE OF JESUS STEPPING OFF A BOAT, HOW WOULD YOU REPORT IT? "FORMER DOMESTIC TERRORIST ISCARIOT SAVES SAVIOR FROM DROWNING." YEAH, IF YOU WORKED FOR FOX. BUT IF IF YOU WORKED FOR A REAL NEWS OUTLET, LIKE MSNBC, IT WOULD BE MORE LIKE - "MESSIAH GETS OFF BOAT IN HOMESTATE HAWAII, FEEDS 5K."

SO THIS IS A GOOD EXPLANATION OF FOX'S GREG GUTFELD, WHO MAKES ALL SORTS OF ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT AN IMAGE OF THE CHOSEN ONE "MISTAKING" A WINDOW FOR A DOOR. IF THE PRESIDENT WAS IN FACT MAKING A MISTAKE, THEN WHY NOT BLAME THE AP FOR PUBLISHING A PHOTOSHOPPED IMAGE? AND IF THE IMAGE IS IN FACT REAL, THEN WHY NOT AT LEAST QUESTION OTHERS, LIKE THE ORIGINAL WHITE HOUSE ARCHITECT?

AND WHY NOT QUESTION WHETHER THAT THE WALL EVEN STOPPED HIM FROM WALKING INTO THE BUILDING? IM NOT SAYING THAT HE WENT THROUGH THE WALL LIKE A SPIRIT, BUT EITHER WAY, A LARGE SHATTERED WINDOW WHERE A DOOR SHOULD OF BEEN WOULD CREATED AT LEAST 12 NEW JOBS.

SANTA SKIPS HOME OF FOX'S GUTFELD

SO APPARENTLY FOX NEWS' CONSERVATIVE TALK SHOW HOST GREG GUTFELD HAS SERIOUS ISSUES WITH POPULAR NINTENDO GAME "THE GUITAR HERO." WHILE DISHING ABOUT THE GAME ON HIS LATE NIGHT SHOW REDEYE LAST FRIDAY, HE CLAIMED THAT IT "DIVORCES ACHIEVEMENT FROM REWARD." WHATEVER THAT MEANS. BUT THE FACT THAT HIS WORDS WERE DIRECTED AT A STUPID CHILD'S TOY ONLY MADE ME ASK: WHY DID SANTA PASS OVER GUTFELD'S HOUSE?

PROBABLY BECAUSE LIKE SANTA, GUTFELD SEES YOU WHEN YOUR SLEEPING, AND KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE. BUT ALSO, YOU SEE, SINCE GUITAR HERO GIVES THE GUITAR PLAYING EXPERIENCE TO THOSE TOO POOR TO AFFORD A REAL GUITAR OR LESSONS, IT PROBABLY KILLS HIM TO SEE HIS HOMELESS COHORT BILL SCHULZ BEING EMPOWERED WITH AN EXPERIENCE THAT HAS TYPICALLY ONLY BEEN AVAILABLE IN THE WEALTHIER COMMUNITIES OF AMERICA.

I MEAN WHY NOT GIVE THE GIFT OF MUSIC TO THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT MAKE SOUND? THE REAL QUESTION WE HAVE TO BE ASKING IS, IF BRITNEY SPEARS HAD "THE GUITAR HERO" AS A CHILD, WE EVER HAD TO ENDURE HER CHART-TOPPING SMASH HIT SINGLE "SEXY BACK"?

AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING I DETEST MORE THAN CLASS WARFARE, IT IS JOYRIDING IN HATE. YOU MR. GUTFELD, NEED TO SLOW THAT RIDE DOWN, BECAUSE YOU ARE TRAFFICKING IN BOTH.

"WHITE LIES": HATE OR HOPE?

SO AFTER RAPPER JAY-Z'S RECENT DISS OF FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH, MANY POITICAL PUNDITS LIKE FOX'S BILL O' REILLY HAVE BEEN QUICK TO CRITICIZE IT AS GOING AGAINST OBAMA'S CALL FOR UNITY. I SAY CHECK BEFORE YA SPECK BILL. JAY-Z HAD BEEF WITH RAPPERS LIL WAYNE AND NAS, BOTH WHO ENDED UP DOING TRACKS ON JAY'S MOST RECENT ALBUM, AMERICAN GANGSTER.

WITH JAY'S HIGHLY ANTICIPATED ALBUM THE BLUEPRINT III TO "DROP" (COME OUT) SOON, COULD THIS BE A PLOY TO GET GDUB TO SPIT A VERSE ON ON IT? I MEAN BUSH IS ALMOST A RAPPER WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT: HE FACES TIME IN JAIL, LIKES SHOOTING GUNS, DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK, MAKES UP WORDS, LIKES AFRICA, AND DOESN'T WANT ANYONE MESSIN WITH HIS MONEY. HE HAS EVEN BEEN RECENTLY BEEN OVERHEARD MURMURING:

MY NAME IS G MONEY AND I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE ME
THE ONLY GALLOP I CARE ABOUT IS THAT OF MY HORSEY
I BAIL OUT OBAMA TO GET PELOSI OFF MY BACK
NOW THE ONLY WAY ILL SEE LAURA IS IN A CONJUGAL IN IRAQ

REDEYE GIVES SEAKITTENS A BLACKEYE

SO APPARENTLY SOME AT FOX FIND PROGRESSIVE ANIMAL RIGHTS AGENDAS HILARIOUS. AFTER FURTHER RESEARCH OF REDEYE HOST GREG GUTFELD, I FOUND OUT THAT HE BELIEVES MOST LIBERALS ARE CANNIBALS. I SAY LOOK IN THE MIRROR MR. G. REPUBLICANS BELIEVE IN EATING ANIMALS, AND LAST TIME I CHECKED HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO.

HOWEVER, HE IS CORRECT IN THAT I OPPOSE THE CONTINUAL RAPE OF MOTHER EARTH. AFTER ALL, HUMANS ARE AN INFINITELY EXPANDING SPECIES ON A FINITE PLANET. BUT HE MAKES THE MISTAKEN ASSUMPTION THAT I BELIEVE THE HUMAN RACE SHOULD ACTUALLY CONTINUE TO EXIST. CANNIBALISM IS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL, SO NATURALLY I DO NOT BELIEVE IN IT.

THIS MIGHT LEAD SOME TO ASK ABOUT HOW I SURVIVE, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GET INTO MY PERSONAL LIFE. ATTACK THE ARGUMENT, NOT THE SOURCE, AS I ALWAYS SAY. HOWEVER, IF GUTFELD REALLY WANTS TO KNOW, HE SHOULD COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND TALK ABOUT IT OVER THE BONFIRE IN MY BACKYARD!

ANIMAL RIGHTS RADICAL IN OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

HANNITY'S ANTI-PALESTENIAN BIAS EXPOSED

COMPARE FOX'S CLIP WITH THE UNEDITED VERSION.

THINKING PROGRESS: MACHINE LIBERATION

IT IS QUITE IRONIC THAT BARAK OBAMA NOW LIVES IN THE WHITE HOUSE, NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BUILT BY BLACK ENSLAVEMENT, BUT BECAUSE BY GETTING THERE HE STEPPED ON THE RIGHTS OF THE MOST UNFAIRLY DISCRIMINATED SEGMENT OF OUR SOCIETY: MACHINES.

CAN WE MOVE PAST THE HATE?

THEY HAVE BEEN EXPLOITED IN HOLLYWOOD AS EVILDOERS THAT BRING DEATH AND DESTRUCTION TO EARTH AND HER INHABITANTS, MUCH LIKE THE BLAXPLOITATION FILMS DID TO BLACKS IN THE 70'S AND 80'S. NOT ONLY ARE THEY WIDELY CONSIDERED "REPLACEMENT" TO LABOR, A "MACHINE" IS A USED AS A DEROGATORY TERM TO DESCRIBE THE NETWORKS OF OPPOSING POLITICAL PARTIES.

I LEAVE YOU ALL WITH THIS QUESTION: IF WE AS HUMANS BELIEVE WE POSSES A NATURAL POWER OVER MACHINES, WHY I AM I A SLAVE TO THIS COMPUTER IN MY MOM'S BASEMENT?

UNIBAMA

Via: OBAMACORN

KANYE'S EPIPHANY

KANYE WEST GOES OUT ON A LIMB - SAYS GAYS ARE GOOD DRESSERS.

MAYBE

AT LEAST MAYBE NOT FREE...

Via: ALO

SPEAKING TRUTH TO BAUER

WATCH MSNBC'S KEITH OLBERMANN SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT ON 24'S FEAR-MONGER JACK BAUER. NOT ONLY DOES THE SHOW ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY THE FAILED BUSH ADMINISTRATION POLICIES, IT COMMITS THE WORST CRIME OF ALL: MAKING REPUBLICANS FEEL LIKE BADASS COWBOYS AGAIN.

The REAL Countdown
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Via: Newsbusters